Slices of life: Prologue

Slices of life: Prologue: It all began one day, thirty three long  years after my grandmother died. Ambi Mama, my maternal uncle send a WhatsApp messag...

On  turning sixty

Yesterday, i turned sixty. I officially became a senior citizen, entitled to the tidbits the government and banks  give away to an ageing populace to help them cope with living standards sans a study income stream.  But I had not been working. So I was not missing anything.

        Was sixty just a numerical? To me, it did not seem different from forty or fifty. In fact, I was feeling  and getting better than the earlier decades when there had been niggling health issues, some of them quite bothersome. At this point of time, i was happy that I could handle my responsibilities  more satisfactorily and I was thankful for that. There were other dependent souls and I could not afford illness or physical inadequacy.

       In the Tambrahm spiritual schedule, turning sixty is quite an event in one”s life. For a man, it is marked by elaborate homes and poojas in the Vedic tradition. It is considered the second marriage in one’s life  and the extended family consisting of children and grand-children gather on the occasion to felicitate and shower their love and affection on the couple with expensive presents even as they pray for their long and healthy life.  Many also observe the Shastiabdhpoorthi to ward off evil portends which may otherwise mar their lives and fortunes.Of course, here there was no such grand event. There had been no fanfare even  when my husband entered his sixties .The elders in the family had blessed him whole-heartedly and we cherished and flourished with their blessings.

          So too now,  the response of all near and dear ones on the occasion overwhelmed me. I

   

CHAPTER 6 - WINNING HEARTS THROUGH GOOD FOOD MARINATED IN THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS

All grannies are good cooks. Their recipes gain immortality  by being passed down by way of word to mouth by fond grand-daughters.  Narayani Patti was  no different. She was  a keen and enthusiastic  cook, who turned out delicacies  with a flourish, without batting an eyelid. Her Mohan dal, Manoharam and savouries like Murukku, Thattai and Athirasam are part of Kallidai folklore. Amma would march the entire family to Kallidai for summer vacations, which was the season of mangoes and pickle-making. Milagai Maangai was one such pickle made of small pieces of raw mango pieces, simmering in fresh smelling gingelly oil and seasoned with salt and chilli powder. This pickle would tantalise the nostrils with its heavenly aroma of mustard and asafoetida seasoning. Patti would fill jars and jars  of this pickle, preparing it for its 2000 km journey  up distant north. Patti”s Milagai Maangai had  an amazing shelf life. It would arrive in Dhanbad iin a tightly screwed brass  container sans a spill or a  trickle.

 Recently,  I bought a cut mango pickle from a reputed super-market, only after checking and re-checking the label for ingredients, date of manufacturing etc. As I unscrewed the lid and peeled off the plastic seal,I stared in shocked disbelief at  the rancid, sickening greenish hue, tell-tale signs of having gone spoilt. Patti’s Milagai Maangai held its own over store bought pickles which turn  rancid with a sickening greenish hue in a very short time. Her Milagai Maangai was a cut above the rest, lasting a whole year and still retaining its freshness, a feat only she could achieve. One can keep talking about her various specialities and recipes.

Patti firmly believed that the way to the human heart was through the stomach. Her cooking was the fulcrum of forging relationships in a close-knit village community where day to day routine and socio-economic activities were dependent on one’s social equations. Patti’s guide and mentor in cooking as well as the myriad, intricate aspects of a Tambrahm household with its extended social outreach was her neighbour Lakshmi Maami, wife of Sri. RSA Sankarier. The two were great chums apart from being related. and their houses  were joined by a common wall. Their deep friendship spilled over to their children also. “ Ahoy”,  would shout one stripling, his voice soaring onto the window perched high and descending onto the neighbouring kitchen, “What’s cooking in your kitchen? I am not keen on our menu today. Can I come over and have something there?” Sometimes Patti would send over fresh sweets and savouries, warm from the stove, immediately after offering them to the Gods to the other house, with the message, “ I know R..... Is very fond of these laddoos. My kids will finish them up in no time. So I am sending them across right away. Let him have them warm and smelling of fresh ghee.” The gesture was reciprocated in the same degree and even today Lakshmi Maami’s descendants come over to look us up, mentioning that they cannot forget Patti’s snacks.The sweet lingered in their mouth for a few minutes, but their friendship lasted a lifetime.

Narayani Patti’s siblings always visited Kallidai during their vacations. On such occasions, Patti would stock up  with stacks of their favourite snacks. When they headed back home, she would ply them with eats and handy presents to carry back along with many happy memories of their stay. To their protests that she was bothering too much, her inevitable rejoinder would be  a simple,” Let it be.  Just enjoy and forget everything else”.  Her manner said it all Even today, Narayani Patti’s brother and his wife recall poignantly, the deep  warmth and  affection that Patti bestowed on them. Large was her hearth but larger was her heart! 

Narayani Patti lives on, in the minds and hearts of her near and dear; through her  social attitude and dealings,  her innate affection and sense of family inclusiveness, her silent efficiency and kind deeds.Her kitchen regularly catered not only to her immediate family but also the likes of Gopalan Thattha and any visitor or relative who dropped in casually. One did not need an invite to her kitchen;  one just walked in. To this great, gracious lady whose kitchen knew no boundaries and whose cuisine was rich in range and limitless, I dedicate her recipe for her piece-de-resistance-Mohan Dal. Yes, the same Mohan Dal which founded and nurtured many a friendship.

CHAPTER 5- OF UTENSILS,A TROUSSEAU AND OTHER TRIVIA

    The girls were growing up and Narayani Patti was concerned. Ahead lay the big job of finding  suitable alliances in the traditional manner and marrying them off into good families. Weddings of those days were grand affairs involving lot of festivities, feasting and  putting together an extravagant trousseau of jeweliery, clothing and other household articles. Narayani Patti, with her astute sharpness and housewifely thriftiness, went about her task  with customary efficiency Little drops make an ocean. So too , patti had  crafted an exquisite piece of jewellery or silver from whatever savings she could conserve from the  cash that thattha gave for household expenses. Agriculture did not generate much cash but in those days of low inflation and simple living, patti managed to put away a tidy nest egg for her children, Ladies of rich Brahmin families were always hankering for a jewel or a silk saree. But Narayani Patti was not one to keep up with the Joneses.. In the years that I grew up and observed her, never once did I see her showing off something as her personal possession, to be vied for. Unassuming and simple in her requirements, this gracious lady , in true selflessness, only wanted the best fso that her children could start their married lives with the comforts they were used to. Keeping this in mind,she accumulated articles of their trousseau very fairly and equitably for her three children. If she gave away her daughters with grand trousseaus, she also welcomed her only daughter in law with equally grand presents.

Narayani Pattti’s trousseau shopping  started with buying household articles like utensils. Those days, brass utensils had been replaced by gleaming, scratch-free stainless steel  vessels which were becoming increasingly popular for their ease of handling, and cleaning. As was the custom in those days, Patti bought a few vessels from the  street old saree vendors who gave vessels in exchange for old silk sarees. To this day, I have failed to see the  merit of such bargains for apart from considerable exercise of lung power and exchange of ready wit.  In terms of fair money value and quality of the article bought, such  transactions were highly dubious. But nevertheless they thrived. Post lunch, in the early afternoon hours the upper class ladies of Kallidaikurichi looked forward to the patrakaran”s arrival.  Usually a deal would be concluded only in two sessions. First, mutual wares would be inspected and selected The conversation would flow somewhat like this-  “ Amma, I can only give this plate for your saree. It does not have much jari”. “ But, that’s not fair. It has got lot of jari, which i know you will melt and make good money. Plate will not do. Give me that big drum. “ Amma, I’ll be ruined if I give a drum for such a measly saree”.  “ Ok, then at least that big container” and so on it would go on familiar lines, in the manner of two encircling opponents in a boxing ring, each trying to get a measure of the other. But an agreement would not be reached. Perhaps this was because each, for his part wanted to extract the maximum value from the transaction. Both parties were sharp and thrifty and both filed away in their memories, what article they wanted from the other. So, it would transpire that patti would patiently wait for the patraman’s next trip when the deal would be concluded to their mutual satisfaction.

  However a weighty trousseau could not be accumulated in bits and pieces. Patti’s brother Kalyanam mama, who lived in Mumbai, had been inviting Patti  to  come and stay with him. Incidentally, Mumbai was also a shopping mecca for stainless steel vessels.  So Patti arrived in Mumbai, fully set to do some heavy shopping.  Now this was easier said than done. Maama’s wife was fully occupied with housework with no energy or time to spare and Patti could not find her way on her own. so , after returning from work, late in the evening after dinner, parti and maama would set off, changing two trains for the distant Mumbai suburb , where two famous brands Devidayal and Oriental  had their shops. More was in the agenda. After preliminary rounds, they would proceed to the venue where Marathi Natya Sangeet  was being conducted. In the wee hours of morning, they would come back tired but happy, at the end of a fulfilling day of shopping and music. 

Patti stayed for ten days, days of intense shopping, including some back and forth trips of exchange.  This would typically  start with Patti buttonholing mama in the morning with, ” Kalyanam, one addaku (big container) which I bought  yesterday  is slightly outsized. What we bought was a whole set of adukkus each fitting into the other, so they can be stored  away without occupying too much space. But this one sticks  out and won’t fit into the next bigger one. I know, it is a bother but please can we go and exchange .” And ever affable Kalyanam mama did not have the heart to refuse his dear sister’s request. Another trip was made to exchange a saucepan which wouldn’t sit properly on the burner. Mind you, these were not whimsical demands but based on sound housewifely common sense. “ No point in having a saucepan which is  so light that its slanting and falling with its contents,” Patti would remark wisely. Her keen perception of quality and  attention to detail stood her in good stead. Those addukus and saucepan are with me now. serving me after almost sixty years. Isn’t that testimony to Patti’s  common sense and acumen?

The trousseaus were ready. Only the grooms had to be located.  This also happened in good time and the girls started their homes and married lives.

CHAPTER 4- FAMILY LIFE IN KALLIDAIKURICHI

The years rolled by into thereabouts 1933 when  a bonnie little daughter  with large eyes and curly, black hair was born to Narayani. That was Lakshmi, my mother or Echi as she came to be called affectionately by everybody.The birth of the long awaited child brought cheer and happiness to anxious Narayani and Sahasranamam vindicating Narayani from the  disapproval of a patriarchal society which did not look kindly upon a childless woman. 

CHAPTER 3-THE EARLY YEARS

If music be the food of love, play on

That is how Narayani stepped into the folds of the distinguished RSA family, little knowing her altered status  which was to place on her tender, young shoulders the responsibility of running a household in keeping with the stringent requirements of a rigid patriarchy even while upholding and fostering the social and religious traditions of a large extended family.At the tender age of eight, Narayani was just like any other Brahmin child bride of the early twentieth century, Schooling did not extend beyond the first or second standard, depending on the age, at which the girl got married.it was not considered necessary for a girl child to be educated- all that she needed to know was calculating the milkman and dhobi’s dues. She was reared and trained for the societal important twin tasks of child bearing and running a household which also involved doing heavy domestic chores. In the stifling milieu that was the lot of the Brahmin girl child, Narayani’s  intellect and talents were like a flower in bloom. Music and books were the dearest companions of this young girl at an age when other girls would have been  engrossed in fineries like jewellery and clothes. Not to say that Narayani was an ascetic. I, her granddaughter observed that she had a fine taste in jewels, clothes and utensils which was exhibited when she systematically went about the task of acquiring items for her daughters’ wedding trousseau. In that age of intellectual darkness, grandmother developed a taste for classics like The Three musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo.  She knew all the tales of the Bhagavatha Purana. Her recall and narration of scriptural stories was astounding, putting us, her grandchildren, who are living in the digital age  to shame. She had a thirst for learning and knowledge which was insatiable. In her old age, when cataract dulled her vision and she could not read, she would request her grand children to read from these books.  She read and reread, never bored, never tired.

As was the custom in those days, she waited for puberty to go to her husband’s house.  Narayani spent this time -vacuum in the most worthy way possible- learning and absorbing music. her lifelong passion. Well, music was the stuff that Narayani’s life was made of and those nimble fingers danced on the harmonium keys even as she sang in G, pitch 5. In this artistic pursuit, she  was fully supported by her father. Her Guru for learning Carnatic music traditionally was Sangeetha Kalanidhi Ramalinga Bhagavthar who also hailed from Kallidaikurichi. Her father also musically inclined, had the acquaintance of many musicians . It is said that he would request any vidwan to whom he was introduced,to come to his house to teach the young Narayani a kriti or two. Music sat easily on her shoulders and so it came about that this highly versatile girl learnt to play the violin and veena with equal dexterity. One can go on and on about her musical talents, indeed so well known was she that people after ascertaining my ancestry, would remark, " Oh! Are you Narayani's grand daughter ? How beautifully would she sing".  
   

As we talk about Narayani's musical abilities, there is an anecdote which must be mentioned here.  Father Viswanathan Iyer lent money to a man who was unable to repay it. In lieu of the borrowed amount, the man left a pile of gramophone records of Marathi Natya Sangeet. The young Narayani played and listened to these songs so many times that they became a part of her psyche.  This intense  and constant dialogue with music gave her the spiritual strength to face and tide over some anxious phases inner early married life because the birth of her eldest child, my mother, was considerably delayed.  She joyously transported herself into the  world of Marathi Natya Sangeet, effortlessly transcending an unknown, unfamiliar language barrier to comprehend the  rich nuances of  this highly lyrical and spiritual idiom with its many pastoral shades.  She was very fond of yesteryear musical legend K.L Saigal. Let us now listen to one Abhang which was her favourite.  In this highly melodious lyric  with its musical cadences, the devotee implores Lord Hari to rein in his mind, distracted  with worldly desires and pursuits,so as to meditate wholly on the one and only hari, mere utterance of whose name is sweeter than nectar.

CHAPTER 2- ONE UP FOR THE KALLIDAIKURICHIANS

 Around the year 1920 a lot was happening in the political landscape. The country had been seared by the bloodbath of Jallianswala Bagh. The winds of social awakening and political change were sweeping across the country. Men and women were quietly coming in batches onto the streets, braving vicious lathi charges, even firing and going about their job of waging a non violent silent battle for their motherland. But deep, down south, in the quiet town of kallidaikurichi, away from the hurly burly of politics, life went on at an unhurried pace. Men tended the land while the womenfolk washed and cooked and young girls played Hop- Scotch on the river banks.

Elsewhere in a house in Vaithiappapuram street however life’s routine had given way to more exciting things.Preparations wre underway for the marriage of two youngsters- the eight year old Narayani with seventeen year old Sahasranamam. It was to be a grand traditional wedding- Narayani’s father Viswanathan was a man of considerable means and he was forging an alliance for his eldest daughter with a scion of the most affluent and influential family in Kallidaikurichi- the RSA family. In keeping with the stature of the two families and the traditions of the times, a five day marriage with festivities and feasting was to be held. The pandal kaal was  erected and a grand pandal was put up.  Those days, marriages were elaborately extended affairs.People and priests alike took their time in  chanting mantras and completing various rituals. One early photograph of Sahasranamam thatha shows him standing near a vintage Ford car. One can imagine the young bridegroom smartly dressed in a dashing suit going around Kallidaikurichi  perhaps in an open Ford car on the wedding eve.  Petromax lamps carried on their heads by men dressed in white twinkled along with the night stars.  Colourfully  dressed and decked women carried fruit and sweets trays, their excited voices  blending into a steady clatterwith the shrill notes of the nadaswaram.All the relatives, close and not so close gathered to usher the young couple through an endless series of nichyathartham, jaanavasam, kasiyatrai, and of couse the most important ritual, the muhurtam. Seer bhakshanams were made in fragrant ghee, distributed to the sambhandhis and partaken with relish.  Children ran around and played in wild abandon oblivious to the gentle, not so serious rebukes of parents and elders. Silks rustled and jewellery glittered.  Clearly Kallidaikurichi was in a festive mood; an important marriage was taking place.

But the child Narayani was too young to absorb it all. A precocious child, blessed with a sweet, singing voice, she was probably thinking and rehearsing some note or tune while the festivities were going on.and as if a complement to her abundant musical talents, a vocal music concert of none other than the legendary Sangeetha Kalanidhi  Kallidaikurichi Vedanta Bhagavthar was organized. Elsewhere also in Kallidaikurichi, Narayani’s cousin was also getting married on the same muhurtam.  Maha Vaidyanathaier’s kutcheri has been arranged on the occasion.  Kallidaikurichians, by nature musically inclined had gathered in large numbers partly in curious expectation to hear the great man from the more modern and culturally progressive northern parts sing. But slowly the crowd at Vaidyanathaier’s concert started thinning out. Vedantha Bhagavtar’s resonant, melodious singing was drawing the crowds.

 I never found out if this was true. But the story definitely did the rounds, circulated for the most part by Gopala Thattha, a shadow character in our narrative.As Gopala Thattha would say gleefully, “ One up for the Kallidaikurichians...!”

 Along with Narayani’s trousseau and seer, Gopalan, trusted lieutenent of Viswanathan Thattha accompanied the gifts and valuables to the groom’s house. In those days this was a common practice. But Gopalan Thattha stayed on in the household, living out his life under the hospitable roof of the newly weds.